Sunday, June 24, 2012

Sex Chat with Dr. Kat Episode 6 - Katy Perry Boobs, Squirting, Exhibitionism, and Erectile Dysfunction

Katy Perry And Her Boobs Up Around Her Neck As She’s Chasing Elmo Sesame Street! 

Want to listen to the Fun Audio Version? Listen Here!

KAT: Hi, this is Sex Chat with Dr. Kat. I’m your host, Dr. Kat Van Kirk, clinical sexologist and marriage and family therapist, here with my favorite gay boyfriend, Mr. Ross Martineau.

ROSS: Hi there, Dr. Kat.

KAT: Hi, Ross. We’re here to answer all of your sex and relationship questions. If you would only just call our Listener Line at 2132701968 and you can go to right now and you will get 50% off on most any item, plus a free mystery gift and free shipping of your entire order when you enter the code D-R-K-A-T at checkout.

So, Ross, were you lucky enough to see that snippet out there on YouTube with Katy Perry and her boobs up around her neck as she’s chasing Elmo?

ROSS: Are you kidding? I thought it was terrific. I thought it was fantastic. I love the clip. I love Katy Perry.

KAT: Yes, she’s pretty awesome. I dig her.

ROSS: What is the fucking problem? Okay, that’s all I have to say. What is the fucking problem?

KAT: Okay. So as a parent I get the whole thing of like – it seems like her boobs were in the muppets’ faces. The outfit itself, a little out there, because it did seem like…

ROSS: Was it a wedding dress?

KAT: No, it was kind of this lime green kind of structured…

ROSS: So it was like a strapless dress.

KAT: Super low-cut, yes.

ROSS: But it had the netting around the shoulders, so…

KAT: It did.

ROSS: But then she had a little veil and I’m thinking…

KAT: She did. I don’t know about the wedding-like reference. She and Elmo? I guess maybe I wasn’t paying attention to the clip. Was that supposed to be a part of the storyline?

ROSS: Well, I didn’t see the clip on YouTube, I have to admit. I actually…

KAT: She and Elmo in their wedding night. No wonder people had issues.

ROSS: There was running involved. The thing is, I saw the clip but I didn’t hear the sound and so I just sort of saw the clip. But come on, no. 1, these kids, anyone who’s watching Sesame Street, if they’re looking at anything and if they are looking at her boobs which they’re not. They’re thinking snack! It’s like, “Hey, bring that over.”

KAT: Or at least Russell Brand snack. I’m sure he’d be totally all over that.

ROSS: Exactly.

KAT: Well first of all, the Sesame Street producers. Come on, Katy Perry, her whole career is built on the fact that she’s kissed a girl. And have you seen her album cover for Teenage Dream?

ROSS: Boobs.

KAT: I mean, she’s naked laying on clouds.

ROSS: Oh, that. Exactly.

KAT: You know what I mean? So come on.

ROSS: And here’s the thing, do we know who… Did she show up in that outfit or did the producer say, “No, not the tube top. Not the one piece.”?

KAT: “Not the pasties.”

ROSS: It’s a wedding dress. Exactly. That’s the other thing. You know, I think parents, I think they – someone, whoever, completely overreacted.

KAT: Yes.

ROSS: You know, no. 1. And it’s also, I’m wondering how much of it is suggested, like you say, her background. Because it’s almost like if Jenna Jameson went on Sesame Street, not that I’m suggesting that she does, unless she’s wearing a freakin’ a cowl neck sweater, everyone is going to think is risqué just because she’s a porn star, you know. So I’m not saying that Katy Perry is a porn star but I’m just saying she has these great, outrageous outfits that certainly show off her figure. So this in my opinion, which was tame, people are reading into that sexpot image and I think just projecting that onto the Sesame Street.

KAT: Yeah, but what a coo because everybody is talking about it. And I don’t know, I’d be curious to see what Sesame Street’s ratings were like because maybe it’s like “Oh, okay sure. Katy Perry and…” you know.

ROSS: You think it could’ve been self-created by the…

KAT: Yeah, a little bit of a rouse. I certainly…

ROSS: By the Sesame Street people.

KAT: Right. And apparently she’s going to come back and she’s going to do another snippet. Funny how it got leaked on to Youtube. I can’t think of any other Sesame Street outtakes on Youtube that everyone has all the interest with.

ROSS: Very true. Another thing I find interesting too is that Elmo is naked.

KAT: All the time!

ROSS: Think about it, okay.

KAT: And he needs some manscaping.

ROSS: There you go. So it’ll be interesting to see what happens. Yeah.

KAT: We’ll be following this report back to everyone and let you know if there’s another clip of maybe Katy Perry and … Oh, my god. The other thing is, with the – what’s the Count’s name?

ROSS: Count Dracula.

KAT: Yeah, the Count on Sesame Street. Apparently, a big issue with that because they’re going to be doing a True Blood take-off on Sesame Street.

ROSS: There you go.

KAT: So I have a feeling this is all a little media rouse but…

ROSS: A Bert and Ernie vampire sandwich.

KAT: We’ll look for that one.

ROSS: I want to see them on the cover of Rolling Stone.

KAT: You’re right! Half naked in a bed.

ROSS: There you go. Done.

KAT: Or The Advocate, Bern-Ernie.

ROSS: There you go.

 How Can I Get My Girlfriend To Squirt?

KAT: And we actually have questions to answer.

ROSS: Okay. Our first question is from Earl. “How can I get my girlfriend of eight years to squirt? She’s only…” Okay, I’m going to get it out. “She’s only done it once.” This is so your question. I don’t even know what that means!

KAT: I was just going to ask, do you know what squirt means?

ROSS: I know! I mean, yeah. I mean…

KAT: Okay.

ROSS: Okay, I was in college once. There’s the video and it’s like coming out and gushing. It’s like, what is that?!

KAT: You’re right. So for all of you out there who are not aware of it, female ejaculation. Basically, it has to do with stimulation of the G-Spot in women which is a mystery and potentially elusive. I mean, there’s all these conjecture about whether the G-Spot exists or whether it doesn’t. Assuming that it does, everyone that I’ve talked to within the field of sex research, that yes, women all have G-Spots, the Grafenberg Spot.

It’s kind of the inside over the vagina, about an inch and a half, two inches in on the top wall. And it’s just a little bundle of nerves and apparently there used to be a gland associated with it, much like a prostate in the men. Hence, when you stimulate it, you…

ROSS: Lose control.

KAT: You can lose control. The thing is, is that within porn and within kind of the genres, there’s this whole interest in women who squirt. Like some guys, super into it. They want to see the gushing. I don’t know. I can’t vouch for all those videos that they’re necessarily real.

ROSS: Right. So here’s my question, a little clinically here, because anything else is going to make me vomit. No, I’m kidding. What comes out? So we know when the man ejaculates it’s semen. So what’s coming out of the vagina?

KAT: So it’s been analyzed and it’s definitely – it’s not urine and it’s not typically what vaginal lubrication is. It’s some other kind of fluid.

ROSS: Oh, my god. That cures cancer!

KAT: Oh, my god. That will solve everything.

ROSS: That’s what I was thinking. When I’m meant to come up with something sneaky like that it’s like, okay, and that is going to cure cancer right there.

KAT: That or it’s going to replace botox in a matter of years.

ROSS: Right. Spit it on my face, baby, because I’m going to look like I’m seventeen.

KAT: That’s right. Oh, my god. Kim Kardashian won’t have an issue with botox. She’ll just be able to use the female ejaculation good. Anyway, so really, the question is, this guy is so obviously into it. His girlfriend has been able to do it once, which means she’ll probably do it again. The thing is, with squirting, with ejaculating, some women who may have their G-Spot stimulated don’t squirt at all. It’s okay, but they still get an orgasm, which is great. Other women, it can be like a teaspoon. Other women, it can fill up your beer mug. There you go, put the towels down.

ROSS: Okay.

KAT: Ross is having a hard time with this.

ROSS: You know, I’m a modern guy. Yeah, okay.

KAT: Just don’t squirt anywhere near him. Anyway, so if she’s done it before, she can do it again. I would suggest that now that you know it specifically has to do with the G-Spot and specifically where it’s located, the best way to get to that position if you’re looking as far penis-vagina sort of sex would be rear entry. That happens to hit the spot more. Also, inserting the fingers and kind of putting them in like a hook shape and going back and forth on the G-Spot.

ROSS: 12-inch penis doesn’t hurt. Well, it does hurt but…

KAT: Only for a minute. And then also, there are plenty of toys out there. I think sure has plenty of G-Spot toys. Just look for the G-Spot toy and go home and do your little homework assignment. Just lay the plastic down and half fun.

ROSS: There you go. Goggles, don’t forget the goggles.

I Would Love To Be Watched Having Sex

KAT: Call our Listener Live 2132701968. Any question, any time, just leave us a message. And now we have Anna from New York City wanting to know about exhibitionism. “I tend to leave my blinds open when I have sex. I like the idea of neighbors watching me have sex. I mentioned this to a girlfriend of mine and she says something’s wrong with me. It’s not like I have to be watched when I have sex, but I really get off to it. None of the guys I’m with seem to have a problem.” So, I guess she – there’s not really a question.

ROSS: She wants permission.

KAT: She wants permission. She wants to know that she’s normal.

ROSS: Do it, girl. Do it.

KAT: And I’m thinking New York City, I’m thinking like – remember the Friends episode with the naked guy?

ROSS: Right, exactly. Yeah, you can kind of get into it as long she doesn’t live across from a kindergarten.

KAT: I would say yeah. Kind of feel situation out, make sure that, you know, obviously… People don’t have to look. I mean, granted you don’t want there to be a kid directly across from you and that’s a whole other issue. But you know, if you feel comfortable with it and… I’m wondering about these guys though. Were they actually giving consent or are they just not paying attention and having sex with her? And in the meantime, she knows if they’re being watched? That’s a little manipulative but…

ROSS: Right. It’s like with the hidden camera, just as you know… Although I guess if you’re having sex with someone you know if the blinds are open.

KAT: You should know, but if she were a guy and he was bringing girls in, would you put it on the girl? Like make sure that they knew that they weren’t having sex in front of an open window?

ROSS: I don’t know. I think that I would know. If I’m walking in and we’re getting jiggy, then I’d be like “You know what? Do you have a shade for that or a blind?”

KAT: Or take it to the ground.

ROSS: Exactly.

KAT: Move it to the shower, move it somewhere else. I mean, yeah. I think it’s perfectly fine. She’s into the whole exhibitionism thing. She’s into being watched. Obviously, it doesn’t seem like a fetish to me because she says she can have sex and get aroused without that being a variable. And you know, worst case scenario, she’s with someone who isn’t into it. Just get into some fantasy play instead. You know what I mean? If she’s got to somewhere in her head where she projects it, that’s okay, too.

ROSS: Or tape it, webcam it, or whatever, which is a little more in control. Again, full disclosure.

KAT: Be careful with that.

ROSS: Yeah, exactly. But also, you need to tell your partner that this is being taped or this is my fantasy and let’s do that. There has to be consent there.

KAT: Yeah, exactly. So I think you cover you bases that way and have at it. It’s New York City, most people live there and they get shows every day from their window.

ROSS: Cover the bases, open the blinds.

Erectile Problems Associated With Alcohol

KAT: Don’t forget, you can call our Listener Line at 2132701968. We choose questions for our podcast every week. Leave a question and we’ll be sure you get an answer.

ROSS: Yes. Here’s a question from Rob in Tucson. “I have a hard time staying hard. It just started to happen a couple of years ago. I drink pretty regularly and that doesn’t seem to help. I’m a 27-year-old guy and I feel like I’m too young to have this kind of problem. What’s up?” Not his penis.

KAT: Not his dick. So here’s the thing. Well, let me give the little caveat that…

ROSS: Give it, Dr. Kat.

KAT: Okay. So there is obviously the myth that any guy should be able to get it up at any point, at any time. Right? That it should be on demand, that if you’re a healthy guy, that all the plumbing is working, you should have your erections every seven minutes on the minute.

ROSS: You’re horny, keep it rock hard.

KAT: Exactly. And that is a myth because there’re lots of variables that can affect this sort of thing. Age, hormones, medications, and in this case, obviously, alcohol.

ROSS: Booze goose. That’s what I was going to say. Right there, the thing that jumped out for me is the booze. A lot of people use alcohol as sort of a lubricant, a sexual lubricant to loosening things up. But what people seem to forget sometimes is that alcohol is also a depressant.

KAT: Right. It depresses your central nervous system so it can actually slow your way down.

ROSS: One drink is you’re going to get busy, four drinks and you’re going to be loosey goosey.

KAT: That is right. The one other thing I would point out too, as long as he hasn’t had issues with getting erections before when he’s not drinking, that to me, if that’s the case he might want to get a medical workup just to make sure that there isn’t a plumbing issue or anything like that. But barring that, it might just be a matter of laying off the sauce a little bit.

ROSS: Right, exactly. Make an experiment. I mean, does he have to drink to have sex? If that is the case, then you have a drinking problem that needs to be addressed, not your erection. However, if you can go next weekend without having a drink and you have full on Mt. Rushmore, then logic dictates that it’s probably the booze.

KAT: That’s right. So lay off the booze, see what happens, and then hopefully you’ll be back in the swing of things.

I want to thank everybody for joining us today, and don’t forget to call on to our 24-hour a day, seven day a week Listener Line at 2132701968. You can go to right now and you’ll get 50% off on most any item, plus a free mystery gift and free shipping on your entire order when you use the offer code D-R-K-A-T. In addition, if you want to follow me around a bit on Twitter or Facebook, you can find me through, and of course, subscribe to this lovely podcast here, Sex Chat with Dr. Kat on iTunes. Thanks, Ross.

ROSS: You’re welcome, Kat. It was a pleasure.

KAT: Tootles!
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